Sorry, Can You Say That Again?
So here it as promised, the long awaited next entry. On this trip I saw some amazing things, experienced a whole range of new stuff, met some odd and great people and heard some of the most ridiculous things ever. This entry is dedicated to the most idiotic comments I heard on the journey. I have left my own little snide remarks and the country of origin of the guilty party to try and pad it out a bit. I hope you are sitting comfortably because here we go:
"Can I get a no gas water?" American - surely 'no gas water' is just water.
"Is there a beach in Prague?" American - beaches, my old chum, are incredibly hard to find in countries with no coast line.
"I'm a feminist." said by a Canadian MAN, how, as a man, can you possibly be a feminist.
"What is a kilogram?" American - no comment is necessary here I feel.
"Budapest? Where is that?" American - I just about give up. Idiot, absolute idiot.
Guilty Party: "Where are you from?"
Me: "Leeds, in northern England."
Guilty Party: "Oh I know someone from Leeds, his name is Pete, do you know him?" Australian - Maybe not so much stupid as just a bit dim.
"I've just been to Croatia, someone asked me if I'd enjoyed Split, I've never even heard of Split." American - Despite the fact that about 10 years ago you couldn't switch on the news without hearing about Split and the Croatian war, she had just been in the bloody country for a week. Moron.
"North Americans speak proper English, you English don't know how to speak the language properly". Canadian - I'm sorry but that is bollocks. Words such as gotten, favor(it's got a 'U' in it for God's sake) and gnarly are proof enough that that is rubbish. The next comment provides indisputable evidence.
"Great D man." American - You mean good defending, knobhead.
When ordering food in restaurant;
Idiot: "What's the tagliatelle?"
Waitress: "It's just pasta."
Idiot: "Oh, that sounds absolutely beautiful, I'll have that." Canadian - I know this isn't really that stupid, it's just been irritating me for weeks.
"England are going to win the World Cup." Me - I'm afraid that was 4 litres of Augustiner Brau Munchen talking.
Now whilst all these comments are 'special' in their own way, I have to dedicate a whole section to one very unique American individual. He came out with all these unbelievable things:
"What? Auschwitz is in Poland?" I'm actually lost for words at this point.
"Where is Poland? The man was in Germany, it's boarder country at the time.
"What is Scandinavia anyway?" He was going to Sweden the next day. Incredible.
Commenting on Cologne Dom:
"Why is it called a Dom, it's not dome shaped at all!" In this crazy world of translations, 'Dom' means 'Cathedral' in German.
Me: "Did you know that the Dom took 600 years to build?"
Idiot:"What? And they are still building it, look!" They were doing some cleaning repairs at the time.
I know there is an overwhelming amount of statements from Americans here, and I am not intentionally picking on the States, I do genuinely like Americans, but fuck me do they come out with some stupid things.
Anyway, it's time to go now and call time on this blog. I will be starting up another one in a few days about little curiosities and things that impress and annoy me and I will post a link to it on here. But until then, remember kids, there is no substitute for an education and please, pretty please, remember to think before you talk.
All that is left for me to say is "We'll meet again, I don't know where, I don't know when, but I'm sure we'll meet again in cyberspace",
Goodbye,
Rich
"Can I get a no gas water?" American - surely 'no gas water' is just water.
"Is there a beach in Prague?" American - beaches, my old chum, are incredibly hard to find in countries with no coast line.
"I'm a feminist." said by a Canadian MAN, how, as a man, can you possibly be a feminist.
"What is a kilogram?" American - no comment is necessary here I feel.
"Budapest? Where is that?" American - I just about give up. Idiot, absolute idiot.
Guilty Party: "Where are you from?"
Me: "Leeds, in northern England."
Guilty Party: "Oh I know someone from Leeds, his name is Pete, do you know him?" Australian - Maybe not so much stupid as just a bit dim.
"I've just been to Croatia, someone asked me if I'd enjoyed Split, I've never even heard of Split." American - Despite the fact that about 10 years ago you couldn't switch on the news without hearing about Split and the Croatian war, she had just been in the bloody country for a week. Moron.
"North Americans speak proper English, you English don't know how to speak the language properly". Canadian - I'm sorry but that is bollocks. Words such as gotten, favor(it's got a 'U' in it for God's sake) and gnarly are proof enough that that is rubbish. The next comment provides indisputable evidence.
"Great D man." American - You mean good defending, knobhead.
When ordering food in restaurant;
Idiot: "What's the tagliatelle?"
Waitress: "It's just pasta."
Idiot: "Oh, that sounds absolutely beautiful, I'll have that." Canadian - I know this isn't really that stupid, it's just been irritating me for weeks.
"England are going to win the World Cup." Me - I'm afraid that was 4 litres of Augustiner Brau Munchen talking.
Now whilst all these comments are 'special' in their own way, I have to dedicate a whole section to one very unique American individual. He came out with all these unbelievable things:
"What? Auschwitz is in Poland?" I'm actually lost for words at this point.
"Where is Poland? The man was in Germany, it's boarder country at the time.
"What is Scandinavia anyway?" He was going to Sweden the next day. Incredible.
Commenting on Cologne Dom:
"Why is it called a Dom, it's not dome shaped at all!" In this crazy world of translations, 'Dom' means 'Cathedral' in German.
Me: "Did you know that the Dom took 600 years to build?"
Idiot:"What? And they are still building it, look!" They were doing some cleaning repairs at the time.
I know there is an overwhelming amount of statements from Americans here, and I am not intentionally picking on the States, I do genuinely like Americans, but fuck me do they come out with some stupid things.
Anyway, it's time to go now and call time on this blog. I will be starting up another one in a few days about little curiosities and things that impress and annoy me and I will post a link to it on here. But until then, remember kids, there is no substitute for an education and please, pretty please, remember to think before you talk.
All that is left for me to say is "We'll meet again, I don't know where, I don't know when, but I'm sure we'll meet again in cyberspace",
Goodbye,
Rich
posted by Rich at 7:33 AM
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